Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
