Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
