I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
