Moan for me like Helen Keller
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
