Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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