it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
