What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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