Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
