i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
