where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
