we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
