When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
