Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
