She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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