just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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