And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
