I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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