Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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