Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
