Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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