so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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