her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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