Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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