i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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