I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
