they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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