Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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