Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
