Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
