I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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