Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
