So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
