We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
