i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
