I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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