my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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