Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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