Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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