Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
