I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
