I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This is the high leading the old right now
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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