I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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