he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
