HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
