Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
