the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
