babies were throwing up all over the place
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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