My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
