maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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