so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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