and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I said "one day" and that day is not today
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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