its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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