thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
