why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
